Archive for the ‘introspections’ Category

terrified of love

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

Malayalee churches never talk about relationships.

They never talk a bout sex.

Is it that the church expects the parents to teach it? Or is it that the parents expect the church to teach it?

Or is it that they both expect each other to teach it?

And then the parents put the pressure on the son or daughter to get married and they just wind up settling because they are about to “expire”.

Not that it always ends bad, but many times it does. That’s when we see postcards like this:
PostSecret-TrueLove

But how do you know it’s true love?

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)

“I am my lover’s and my lover is mine” – Song of Solomon 6:3 (NIV)

tree ahead

Sunday, November 9th, 2008

When I was in twelfth grade I hit a tree.

I may have shared this story before in various places already.

I hit this tree going at least a minimum of 20 MPH on a mountain bike.

I hit the tree so hard the front tire was bent out of shape and unrideable. I had to walk it up and out of the woods.

I had a helmet on, but that only protected my head.

At the point of impact, as i unwrapped myself from the tree, i just remember my entire left side feeling numb.

I could still move, but the wind was knocked out of me.

I struggled to catch my breath

I couldn’t focus

nothing else mattered

my arm and leg were moving, but i didn’t really feel anything.

Nothing in my fingers or toes,

or my heart.

nothing.

just stepped back and thought, what just happened.

then the pain began.

not painful and unbearable.

but a soreness, an emptiness that lingered just enough for me to know something was off.

something big just happened.

i think i hit the tree again

or at least about to.

a ballard

Monday, November 3rd, 2008

my friend is quite talented. please subscribe to her, or she’ll hurt me. :D

back in focus

Wednesday, October 29th, 2008

There’s a lot that’s happened and a lot that seems worth mentioning, but at the moment, only this snippet from a recent conversation seems worth writing about.

“I’m just doing my best to trust that God has it all planned out and I just need to wait on his time. Which is hard because I see what I want, and I want it now. But I’ve been realizing that I’m wasting all this energy focusing on insignificant things, when I know God has me where I am right now for a reason and I need to focus on Him before I can focus on anything else.”

in the beginning…

Tuesday, October 21st, 2008

starting fresh

starting new

don’t know where i’m headed

don’t know where i’ll end up

all i know is this is where i am

and where i’ve been

and this is the next step

so have a little faith

mustard-seed-size faith

and we’ll go far

beyond our imaginations

beyond our dreams

beyond their promises

beyond what ever lies beyond

it’ll make sense in the end

because that’s where we’re headed

but for now

we’re here

in the beginning

again